A Little Bitter, Partially Mild, Mostly Stout

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Considering the date, I thought I’d try something a little topical (yes, it does tun cheerier as it progresses).

Anyone who goes anywhere near Facebook, Twitter and the like on February 14th will see three things:

1. People waxing lyrical of their love and infatuation (something that they are apparently unable to do on any other day of the year).

Honestly, I’m happy for them, I really am. I rather envy them, in truth. But the fact that it’s February 14th doesn’t mean I care any more about how you can’t get a restaurant booked. Go to the pub instead. A quiet one. Getting steadily off-your-face with the one you love is surely more romantic than being crammed into a restaurant like some grotesque western version of Japanese public transport.

2. Folks moaning (usually via iPhone or Blackberry) that the whole thing is ‘commercialised’, ‘forced down your throat’, ‘a waste of time’ et cetera.

I agree to a degree: celebrating a day of a saint who was brutally murdered does seem a little bit pointless. As does buying cards to do so. But still, like the snow we become bored of and the Christmas hangover finally coming to an end, it’s part of the fabric of February.

3. People being ‘ironic’ about the event.

You know what I mean: “Yay, all the chocolate will be cheap tomorrow! #ForeverAlone” /// “We’ve been together for years now. You take all the crap I give you and you’re still always right there when I need you – love you, Toilet xxx” /// I confess, I rather did it myself this morning: “South African Paralympian Oscar Pistorious is believed to have shot dead his girlfriend, mistaking her for a burglar. Either that or he REALLY hates Valentine’s Day.” /// Then again, this is social media and there’ll always be nonsense like that on there.

However, I do not particularly have a problem with any of these things. My problem is with the name itself. Agh! The grammatical ambiguity is painful.

“Valentine’s Day”

Lets look at this. It implies that the day belongs to Saint Valentine, a saint that (really) none of us actually know much about, if anything. So it seems rather strange that we’d use this term most often when we are not actually worshiping him. Odd.

“Valentines’ Day”

See, this seems a little more accurate. As the day seems to consist of couples spending money on one another in an attempt to enrich their attachment to one another, this would seem a more appropriate variation.

However, I’m still not entirely satisfied with either of these names…

See, I propose a change of date and of name. To me, the idea of a day that simply celebrates people’s love for one another is a wonderful concept. But February 14th has a stigma attached to it. Perhaps changing it to a different day would give it a ‘fresh’ feel.

As for the name, perhaps something distinctly shitty would more accurately portray what the day is about. I don’t know, maybe ‘Love Day’ or ‘Couples Day’ or something like that, just so we don’t use either of the variations mentioned above: celebrating a saint (something distinctly un-modern) or a name that infers that people are transformed into some new breed of humans for 24 hours (in one time zone, at least).

Anyhow, melancholy meanderings and musings over, service will now resume as normal.

Please do not turn off your set or remove memory card, do not pass go, do no collect £200.

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About DickensianJack

Born in Wolverhampton in November '93, moved to Huddersfield in September 2012. Studying at the University of Huddersfield. In love with the town - simple as that. As for the blog itself, I've been doing bits and pieces of writing (with varying quality) for a few years. A friend suggested I start a blog to share my work. Most of the stuff on here is poems, but there's other work interspersed on the page. Feel free to leave any comments on my work. Twitter: @DickensianJack (Jack Dickens) Facebook: www.facebook.com/dickensianjack Cheers, enjoy.
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